She says

Life there is up and down. Is just how you see it. So now my life neither up nor down.

Recently alot of things in my mind. Just too tired for anything. I wish my life is either up or down. I'm stuck in the middle of it. Lots of things to settle. Even if I left church, I'm still counselling people and giving advise. I wish I don't have to. But afterall is friend, so I just do my best in anything I can. Hope everything works.